therapeutic?

so this is new, for whoever wants to know what im thinking, i heard its therapeutic and who doesnt need a little zen? my finger still hurts! i have a stupid splint on it and i cant do anything, who knew that you’d use your index finger so much? and the funny part of it all, is that i barely got any flags during our game. we still won 🙂 but i barely played due to my lack of skill! and im the one with the practically broken finger…hmm…a sign? for something? maybe?

this past week i’ve been learning a lot about people. im so tired of superficial relationships, and being afraid of what the other person is going to think or constantly wondering what the other person is thinking. i guess its something we cannot escape but i really appreciate the people who are so real with everything. this past week i had an encounter with people who on several occasions didnt tell me how they truly felt about certain situations and i, myself – even held information in, but whats the point? i need to just come out and say how i feel, say exactly what im thinking and not be afraid. this school year is almost over! i’m about to lose people i once had so close… i’m about to leave those i’ve just now met… i don’t want school to be over yet.

this semester has been so weird, the past few weeks have been the most fun i’ve had all semester but its still as if im living a different life because im not used to it yet. there are empty feelings and awkward encounters still. its difficult starting over again, its difficult “finding your place” again when you were convinced that you already had. but im not going to be afraid of it all, i’m going to start being real – as stupid as that may sound, but mostly im going to start being real with myself. im learning to let go of those things that aren’t good for me, im learning to accept the things i cannot change, and im learning to cling onto Jesus more and more through every experience.

help me, O God, to know my place in this world and to not lose my head during the process.

goodnight everyone.

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