From last weekend, to this week, to the weekend ahead of me – my heart is overflowing with joy, my soul is unbelievably content. I don’t know how to say this the right way, as always, I doubt my own thoughts in my own head and even in my own blog. I’ll just let them out however they may come, I don’t put a lot of thought into how I’m going to write something, I just go on here and do it.

When I was home with my family, I want to say it was the beginning of the them understanding so much more about myself and about God. So much was revealed to me while I was there, continually learning that in the end the things that wins overall is love. I have the strongest hope that my mother will one day experience something greater than what I myself get to experience on a daily basis with God. I am no one to say that she isn’t already experiencing things for herself, but I rest assured that she too is going to be standing on the promises of God because I can feel it. Doubt is the root of despair. When you become desperate for your family to know Christ the way that you do, you begin to believe they’ll never be healed from the things that hurt them the most, you begin to believe that they’ll never accept the greatest thing in all of existence. But rest assured – if there is anything for you to believe in and to hold onto, it’s the promise of God’s love. Scripture says that nothing can seperate us from the love of God, and if you believe that we were created by and for Him, then there’s nothing to fear. Perfect love drives out all fear. Perfect love is found in God.

As the week progressed with visiting a close friend, God continued to make himself present through conversations and car rides. There was a change that I saw in them that honestly left me without words. A person that I didn’t know needed any changing, has become and is becoming a person who mirrors the One that they serve. For that I am thankful, thankful that my Father has allowed me to find a friend who cares so much and pushes me to dream and to seek.

I will end with this – God takes full responsibility for what’s fully his. I am learning to surrender every part of me over to my Creator. All fear, all doubt. Every emotion, every thought, every intention. My needs, my wants, every desire. Because when I do, I will be ready to go wherever he leads and I’ll do things for his kingdom that I’ve only ever dreamed of doing and they will be a greater reality than I’ll ever deserve.


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