Archive for June, 2010

June 28, 2010

Discolored Love

I sit here again and just want to take a moment to express the way that I am feeling inside.

Blindly approaching you, unaware of your current circumstances – I feel the need to tell some of you, if not all of you, that the love God has for you doesn’t change. Even if some of us decide to leave him because we do not understand him, he remains the same.

A song I’ve been playing over and over again is “The Fullness” by Lovelite.
The bridge goes like this:
You offer a life that is whole,
You brighten my darkened soul,
A mystery that I long to know,
I am yours.

How does this apply to the love of God? Simply because it reminds us that the life to be found in him is a life that is fully whole. But what does that mean? It means that you won’t be living a life with a broken heart, it means you are given a hope that is stronger than any medication this world has to offer, it means you are given a new look into a life that you thought you had figured out. Because of what Jesus did for both you and I, we are given a chance to live a life that exceeds all of our expectations. A life that is full of joy and bright colorful moments that are waiting to be found. Mysteries that are waiting to be uncovered, and it’s so attainable. More attainable than what you see in front of you.

We push Jesus away because we don’t understand him. We push him away because of how others show who they perceive him to be. How can something so great be delivered as something so unattractive? Well, he’s not. He’s the attainable, the one thing that our hearts are begging us to accept, the one that will never escape us and will always find us in the end.

As unfathomable as that may be, I will continue to voice the love that is living within me and is waiting to be found in you. The love that you search for, the escapes that you give yourself, what you are letting yourself settle for is discolored.

You’ve heard this over and over again. And as much as we don’t like “cliché’s” – they ring more true than anything at times. But there is more waiting to be discovered. Life isn’t just what you and I both see.

Knowing you changes me,
Never let me leave.
– The Fullness by Lovelite

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June 28, 2010

Heart of Gratitude

As I sit here and write this morning, I feel like a lot of me is being reshaped and reformed. But not only that, I am gaining confidence that I am truly where I am supposed to be in this life of mine and the state of “being in God’s will” isn’t just being in a place, but rather a state of mind and heart.

Over the past month and a half, I have learned more about myself than I have this entire year. I can honestly say that God has literally been shaking me of my older self and is forming someone new. Mistakes that I’ve made try to weight me down, but the constant reminder that the power of Jesus living in me resounds over and over again conquering that evil voice. I woke up today feeling different, feeling stronger. As I make the conscious effort to spend time with God in the morning time, before the hustle and bustle of the day starts, it sets me and preps me for what my day may bring.

I also just sat and read through my fiance’s blog, in it’s entirety. Naturally it led me to write a blog of my own, and I have this deeper appreciation for him and his dreams. For his life and the church that he gave everything up for.

All of the things I am experiencing now, and will experience next year when I move here, William Jonathan has also experienced. No wonder he has shown such grace with me and has put up with so much from my side. He knows what it’s like and he cares.

As he is currently preparing to teach a bunch of punk teenagers this week, I pray God gives him the words the deliver the strong message he has on his heart. If there is anything else I pray for more in William Jonathan’s life is that he would be used by God in all of his talents, and his strongest one in the ability to speak. May God use his words and extend them deep into the hearts and souls of those at service on Wednesday night.

This blog is a blog of gratitude. Towards the One who has given me life and towards the one that God has given me to live alongside of for the rest of it.

(I stole this idea from Will)
Prayer: May the Creator of our lives continue to reveal his love to you and just how much He does not want live without you. I pray that our eyes would be opened to things He desires to change in us and that we would embrace the change because the end result is better than we can anticipate. I pray that we would embark on this week with a heart of gratitude and appreciation for the ones that we love and for the One, Jesus Christ, who loves us most.

June 5, 2010

Strength in Weakness (Inspired by John Lindell)

In every moment of solitude my mind is processing everything that is presently going on. I’m in a new place, away from my families and away from my friends. I don’t have the relationships that I have in Florida and I need directions everywhere I go. A little out of the loop and frustrating at times because I can’t do things on my own. I cling to my betrothed because I don’t want to be by myself, I want what’s familiar to me. I’ve spent a night or two in tears, wanting everything to feel like home, desperate for those closest to me just to appear and erase the pain I feel because they are far from me.

It’s been recorded in the sacred writings that when we are weak, we are strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. We are offered the depth of a love that relinquishes all fear, a love that we can hold onto when we don’t understand the situations going on around us. A love that gives a strength greater than anything we’ve ever experienced.

Through the times I am able to process what I am currently experiencing, I can see where Christ is tearing off the dead parts of me. The areas of vanity and conceit. I can also see where He’s healing parts of my heart that have been wounded from former things. He is reaching His hand deep into my soul, ridding me of what I’ve been harboring for too long.

If I could ask you for anything it would be to allow yourself to be drawn in closer to God when life is uncomfortable. As foreign as it once was for me to hear those words, it’s now a feeling of home. A reminder, that no matter where I live and no matter how far I am from those closest to me, I will always have what resides within me and He has the ability to calm every anxiety and all fears of unfamiliarity.

My heart knows what is to become of the unknown. Through the foggy windows that present themselves at times, once I wipe them clean I am able to see beautiful things. A community of believers set on changing the city they live in, people going out of their way to make others feel loved, sacrificing so others can be happy. The hand of God is undeniably moving where I stand.

So in this time of transition, I hold tightly to what brought me here in the first place.