Archive for ‘love’

July 15, 2011

i see no color

yesterday whilst at camp, one of the girls said “this must be a black girls camp” with a look of disgust on her face. imagine mind as its racing to find the right words to say, refraining from bopping the little one on the head. arose the various proceeding comments, “wow! you’re so racist!”,”did you hear what she said?”, “ms. jen! do something!” i told the girls to calm down, everything would be okay and i would have a much needed conversation with the one who voiced such comment.

i completely forget that there are still people who have a negative view of different colored people. once in a while i get the typical “she’s mexican” comment about myself and it always catches me off guard.

i see no color.

i’m a hispanic woman married to a caucasian man, and when i look at pictures i don’t see anything different. i walk into a room of mostly black girls and don’t see a difference in any of us.

we all bleed the same color.

so when i’m looked at for comfort and rescue in such events, i feel obligated to erase the lines that have been made. a sensitive subject and wanting to just say the right words and hear an, “i understand exactly what you mean.” but that’s not reality.

there are people who still feel superior, their race is better than others and it’s an act of hate, that cannot be denied.

i want to end this post with a “let’s unite! let’s fight!” sentence but it seems petty. at the same time it’s not, this is just a reminder to you and i both that we need to live aware of the evil things in this world and stand for what is right, to whom ever, wherever.

July 11, 2011

the day we made a fort

// thank you for all the sweet responses on my last post. i’m so thankful my words reached many of you, it motivates me to continue writing and sharing my life with all of you. //

there are few emotional pains i experience often, the dominate one being away from my family. let me not sound so melodramatic here, there’s plenty in the memory bank to look back on when i’m missing them the most. like last month when i went home for two and a half weeks to babysit the twins. the last few days i was there we built a fort, complete with white christmas lights and plenty of teddy bears to smother our faces in.

at the mention of building a fort, mia and donnie jumped up and started looking for blankets. they would jump down the stairs, throw me their findings and continue searching for more. when the base was built, we strung lights all around the “ceiling.”  they insisted on making signs to display, with phrases like “please give us your money” and “only boys and girls allowed.” their giddiness was such a thrill! they wanted to invite their friends over but it ended up only being us in this little tent.

when night came around, we settled inside, read a bed story or two and it was lights out. mia was restless, as she tossed and turned so did everything else. she lasted only 20 minutes inside before laying on the couch with me. several hours later, i woke up to both of them on the couch with me. when donnie woke up, he told me how scared he was waking up in the fort with neither of us around.

the fort lasted throughout the weekend even though we never had a full nights sleep inside. hands down one of the best memories i have with them. it comes to mind whenever i’m feeling a little down for not having seen them in awhile.

so much love in that fort.


July 5, 2011


Aaahh, I’ve finally returned. Since my visit home, we’ve relocated to Riverside. House-sitting for our dear friends, Bethany and Nick, alls well during our first month on this side of town. We’ve been in their place for a little over a week now and it feels odd. I wake up in their bed, stare at their family pictures on the walls and take care of their two puppies. Not odd in a weird way, but just like we’re living in someone else’s home…which we are. But I don’t mind living in their vintage nest because it’s just that magnificent.

I’m considering submitting their place to a “home” blog because it’s completely worthy. Something like Apartment Therapy or whatever else I find. Everything in the Kaisharis residence is vintage or handmade. Thought has been placed into every piece; from  the perfectly lined pipes on the mantel to the wall of family photographs in different shaped frames in their bedroom. A bathroom in the hallway has an unexpected large white claw-footed bathtub and their kitchen is complete with a retro stovetop oven and colorful vintage Fiesta-ware.

My friends place is better than yours, it must be said.

In the almost 2 weeks we’ve been here, I’ve ridden my bicycle to work every day and I’ve shopped completely local (and by that I mean the Publix less than 2 miles away). We ate at Orsay for the first time with Josh & Holly and I crave it everyday now. We hauled it up to Charlotte again, a home away from home for the greatest wedding of the year (Congratulations again, Prevatts!) and came back to celebrate the 4th with The Franklin’s with kiddie fireworks and lots of grilled veggies.

There are a few things happening in the personal side of life but it’s being dealt with one day at a time. When life hits you in the gut a few times in the middle of a busy schedule the only thing you can do is…YOGA.

Okay, okay…you have to do more than yoga… like pray to the God who never fails us for peace and understanding. You have to have really awkward, difficult conversations that bring light to situations. You have to look at everything from every perspective and keep a positive, unbiased attitude. You have to know that even if everything seems to be out of your control and it’s really terribly and all you want to do is fix it and you can’t, that’s it’s a step towards things becoming better.

We’re always moving forward. Never are we given another opportunity to repeat yesterday.

So all this to say, Riverside is certainly our cup of tea. Glad to be in the neighborhood of so many friends and close to our favorite places. We’re looking forward to this “new chapter” of our life together.

See you guys tomorrow.


June 4, 2011

make you feel my love.

tonight the twinsies were giving each other a harder time than usual.
they were sent to bed immediately after a horrible moment of 5 year old arguments
and they were pretty upset. my little mia cried and cried, i’ve never seen her cry so much.
it crumpled my heart into a tight ball.

i’m not one to wince when i discipline children, but she’s had such a rough day
and i didn’t want her crying herself to sleep. i couldn’t let it happen, so i didn’t.
i climbed into her plush princess bed and spooned her tiny body while telling her it was
okay and not to cry anymore. i explained why she was in trouble and she would
respond with head nods and finally turned over to face me. she gripped me so tightly
and placed her tiny forehead on my own, not letting go. it was the sweetest moment.

she’s not a child of mine and i can’t imagine the intensity of attachment my mother feels
towards us, seeing us go through all that we do and only being able to guide us from
a distance. then i began to imagine the way that God feels about us and the tears
started streaming even harder. as my palm rested on mia’s back, i prayed for her to
experience the best life possible. that she’d find strength in moments of pain & fear,
that she’d grow close to her Creator and learn all she could from Him to carry her on.

His attachment to us is strong. we came from Him and to Him we will return.
there are some things that i don’t understand, i’m not seeing a piece of the puzzle,
i’m still seeking and looking for answers. but i know because of the experience’s i’ve had with love
that He is like this. His heart breaks when we hit a rough patch, He wants us to find joy,
He wants to give us grace and peace, He wants us to know and live in the purest form of life.

Adele’s Make You Feel My Love is playing as I type this,
putting into a song what I felt in my heart tonight. Take a listen.

June 3, 2011

stop and get sandy.

what could have been the best beach day, truly came to be.
we swam in the water for hours, built sand castles and volcanoes.
there was time to eat, a time to play and even a time to read celebrity gossip.
all of it extra-special because this has never happened before.
when i’d look up from my magazine and realize i was sitting at
the prettiest island in Florida with my brother & sister and best friend…
it certainly captured my heart. i would take a few moments to thank Him
for creating such wonderful people and such lovely beaches.
i can’t help but take things for granted, easily anger over petty things
and today was a reminder that i need to stop and get sandy.
– it’s true, i got sand all over the place to prove it –
being away from william is absolutely no fun at all,
i’m seeking the best that i can of it. and today was a day of reflection.
i’ve never had a person fight with me so to get into who i am and bring
out the best in me. i attribute today as a result of his constant encouragement,
and we’re finally seeing some breaking. old habits are leaving…

we absolutely never stop growing. i am thankful i can continue to grow
while being surrounded by the best, the cream of the crop.



May 16, 2011


What a weekend. I’m sitting on my bed, struggling through lack of sleep and a major kick in the a from my allergies. But what makes it all sustainable is how wonderful our weekend was in the Queen City. (And we go back July 1st to do it all over again!)

Stephanie and Adam got married, William officiated the ceremony. The tears wouldn’t stop, in between seeing Stef for the first time in her dress through the walk down the aisle and the vows, this wedding was perfect.

We celebrated at Carrigan Farms in a rock quarry, ate freshly picked strawberries and danced to nothing but 90’s music. A candy bar, tons of vegan options, a Smilebooth and a love fern for everyone to take home. I die.

The wedding of their dreams came to life and we are so honored to have played such an important role.

Our entire trip was spent eating delicious food; there were so many options for my ridiculous diet that it made the weekend so easy. Patrick treated us to Vida, the fancy mexican restaurant he’s a manager at and it was mm-mm-good. Of course, we dined at Cabo our first night in town with Tay Flo and Ben. Shared several cups of coffee with good friends and spent Sunday morning at Center City; a church that will always have a huge piece of my heart. What God is doing through Center City is unbelievable, I’m so excited to see it all unfold. The willingness of the church to open up to God so much is admirable, I’m thankful I could ever be a part.

Now we’re back to work, back to the grind. Counting our blessings, getting ready for what’s next and all the while being aware of the moment we are living in. If there’s anything I learned from this past weekend is to always focus on what I’m experiencing NOW, not letting it get away without fully taking it for all it’s worth.

happy monday, friends. xx.

April 21, 2011

my friday night

Today is my friday, I’m all alone with a pint of sea salt caramel gelato (which I’ve refrained from inhaling…) and my Pandora set on Florence + The Machine* which is currently playing “Heads Will Roll” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs…and I am more than okay with this all. is having a night of bromance consuming copious amounts of wings. Everything went just right today, minus the teeny fact that I filled my car with gas and it’s already on empty.

It started off with breakfast with Jessica, we exchanged gifts. Her borrowed flash and my wedding pictures. Baby Eily was also there, I’ve never seen a baby smile as much as this one. Everyone was staring at her in the restaurant (or they were staring at me…we won’t ever truly know). Jess ordered an omelet and was blown away by what she received…which didn’t resemble any sort of omelet but rather an inflated something made from cheese. Take a looksy:

Moving on…

I had a conversation with a friend today and heard what was really disheartening about an experience they had with a church they used to attend. The words they used to express themselves were everything opposite of what these places are supposed to be like. Shining a light (small or large) on this matter, I’ll put it simply: A place of meeting where the Gospel of Jesus is shared is to be a place of freedom. A place where you come as you are and are refreshed by the reality of Jesus and the power of His Spirit. Always about doing all that we can to share the truth that has changed our lives dramatically.

I read the pages in the New Testament about the way the first disciples “did church” and it’s so simple, so easy. William visited Israel and showed me a picture of where they used to meet. Someone standing (or perhaps, sitting) on a rock and everyone standing/sitting on the sand listening. The story of Jesus, the Kingdom of God has more than enough to capture the attention of anyone and everyone without us having to do anything…but share it.

It’s all pretty captivating, I’d say.

Happy weekend, xxo.
I’m celebrating Easter on the beach with a sunrise and friends.

*Not to be confused with “Lina and The Machine,” even though it’s easy to confuse because they are both ridiculously amazing. Enough said. 

April 18, 2011

the fox shoppe

Me, oh, my! I have been one busy lady this past week. I’ve had work every single day, and won’t stop until Friday. The good thing is I love both of my jobs so it makes things easier. My old job has asked me to stay employed and come in whenever I can, I said yes and it’ll work out when Girls, Inc. has a month long break so our income won’t hit a bump.

Pretty amazing, I’d say.

In other news, The Fox Shoppe is finally up on Etsy. We have tons more to post so check it often. William is making a bunch of journals and when we have a couple more, they’ll go up too. We love the handmade life.

We’ve got our eye out for some other sweet finds, vintage Coach purses and more boots. We want to put up the best quality things we can find that are genuinely old. Any questions, feel free to ask!


post script: Gossip Girl returns tonight, Monday’s actually feel normal again!

April 8, 2011

new jobs, holy moly

The rest of my week was a lively one. I haven’t been this consumed with work in months, it feels really good but really not good all at once. William and I haven’t had as much “us” time as we’re used to, it’s all about rearranging things and getting through that turning point.

If you didn’t already know (how could you if we’re not facebook friends?) I got a job with Girls, Inc. of Jacksonville! I will be the Kindergarten Enrichment Coordinator and am taking over my friend Audra’s old spot. Completely motivated is how I feel, almost empowered because I’m on a team that is an advocate for girls to be strong, smart and bold. This is really only the first step towards my dreams, it’s captivating the way that God does things. More on those thoughts later though…

This week I was from one job to the other, I also work at Urban Outfitters now. I’m completely exhausted. Once I get my old job done and out of the way, I’ll be caught up on sleep and my focus will be on this new little story we’re starting. I CAN’T WAIT!

Admittedly, we’ve been able to still have fun in the midst of so many job changes. The Art Walk on Wednesday night was crazy. So much was going on, we even stumbled upon a newer restaurant called Chew that I’m hoping William will take me too soon. (The prices are perfect! $7 a plate or so). Thursday night I went out for Audra’s Bachelorette party, my camera is at her house so nothing for you to see. But just know we ended up at Pearl that night and had the best night dancing to Florence + The Machine and Vampire Weekend. Her friends (now my new friends) are OUT.OF.CONTROL! In an extremely good way!

Now it’s 1:45am and I’m just now done with paper flowers for Audra’s wedding. To bed I go, no room for grumpy gills in the morning. I have the fancy title of Design Coordinator for this beautiful ceremony, I have to be in tip top shape to make everything looking perfect for the bride! (and the groom….zilla)

grace and peace,
happy weekend.

April 3, 2011

in high spirits

Celebrated our 1 year anniversary of being together with breakfast in bed Saturday morning. I fell asleep the night before remembering all that happened, I got on a plane to visit William in Charlotte with John Mayer’s “In Your Atmosphere” song playing on repeat. I spent hours packing, arrived at the airport incredibly early. When I landed in Charlotte, my heart was beating out of my chest. As I came down the escalator and saw William with a serious face standing in the middle of tons of people. We didn’t say a word to each other, I dropped my bags and he wrapped me in his arms and we just stood there for what seemed like hours. In the middle of everyone’s way, we stood still and couldn’t seem to let go. All we had been waiting to say, the months we spent in anticipation had finally arrived. Three days later on our drive back to the airport, we knew we would get married. It was the most whimsical weekend of my life, I get the best feeling reminiscing about it.

William shot our friends Chad & Lindsay’s wedding  in a church full of tall, stained glass windows with dark wooden benches and red carpet lining the whole interior. It had an old-time romantic feel, with a 60’s Cadillac and a red velvet couch to take pictures in. The bride wore a mink in some photos and the groom & his men had cigars. Just the way we like it… We ended the night with friends at Brick in Riverside and had some really good laughs.

After church this morning we had lunch with the soon-to-be Keller’s at Bento Sushi. William hasn’t been this excited about food in Jax for awhile, it was pan asian food at it’s absolute best. Including Boba that was right on. Now we dog/house-sit for a week, with Oskar (yes, Oskar Schell) and Olive to take care of. I may or may not have let Olive lick my face once or twice already…I know, so out of character but I can’t help it. They cuddle you and come running to you when you come home, who wouldn’t like that kind of attention?

We’re going to ride bikes now and take in the rest of our Sabbath.
Good catchin’ up with you.