self doubt is self inhibiting

last night was my friday, today is my…?…and we have monday off for labor day. i feel as if i don’t know what day of the week it is and i’ve so much to do that i’m sure i’ll end this long holiday off in jennifer-style, not quite finished with my projects. or maybe i’ll surprise both myself and my husband by having it all done. we’ll see. 

school is this emotional bliss, work is much more personal and challenging because i’m pushing the talents i posses and making them stronger. learning new techniques, making things that i’ve no idea how to make, so on and so forth. which brings me to words that one of my professors spoke during wednesday nights class.

she was continually correcting several of us for making “chicken scratch” lines in our drawings, telling us we needed to keep the lines fresh & not lift our pens. she won’t let us use pencil yet, saying we rely heavily on an eraser and we need to get past our fear. as artists’, if we’re ever going to progress in our work, we need to learn to be confident in what we can do. if we only do what we feel comfortable doing, we’ll never grow. self-doubt is self inhibiting.

when i saw the video that proceeds this entry, all i could think about was what she said. the precision achieved by big paintbrushes is amazing. the artists make huge lines without blinking and it’s perfect. watching this only amplifies the resounding voice in my head thats telling me to stop being afraid, because i will only be hurting myself.

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